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LIFE LESSON: DON’T JUDGE ANYONE

Who is this person that is so desperate to hear my voice, I wondered as my Nokia Palasa phone rang continuously for the fourth time in a role. Getting up reluctantly from my bed, the phone rang again.

Picking up the phone, I realized that it was mummy Folakemi  that stopped me from receiving the Five million Dollar($) shipping contract President Goodluck Ebele Jonathan was about to award me in the United State of Dreamland (USD).

Emmanuel, your friend Folakemi is pregnant. Wondering why she chooses to call me Emmanuel when she has the option of either calling me Seun or Alaofin, I heard something strange.

What did you say ma, I asked in shock as I was sure I heard the word “Pregnant”. I said, “Your friend Folakemi is pregnant.” What!!! I shouted as the phone dropped from my hands and landed safely on the bed. In deep pains, I put on my jeans and shirt and headed straight to Folakemi’s house. This news looked too fake to be true I told myself, as I begged the Okada man to drive fast.

If this is true, then Iron Lady as she is fondly called has a lot of explanations to give me. Each time we are together, its either she preaches the gospel of our Lord Jesus christ to me, or she shares useful and relevant informations with me.
She is  a 1st class student graduate from a leading university in Nigeria, and she is also the choir mistress of her church youth branch. This same Iron Lady was the person that advised me to cut ties with my former girl since our relationship was unholy. Her impact in my life has been so tremendous.

Come and open the gate I shouted as I called her to signal that I was in front of her gate. Holy spirit help me, I don’t know what to say as the gate opened slowly. Barging in, I went inside straight to where her mum was sitting down.  Checking round the sitting room, I saw Brother James and Brother Sola occupying two of the chairs.

Good Afternoon Sir, I  hailed both of them as I knelt down before her mum to dry her tears. Mummy please stop crying I urged her as tears dropped from my own eyes too. She just got admission to do masters in Canada, see what she has done to herself. How would she be able to go now, her mother screamed as the tears increased in velocity.

Who is the father of the baby, I asked with keen interest. She refused to talk at first, but after asking her consistently she pointed towards the direction of Brother Jide and Brother Sola. Brother Sola talk now, who is the man responsible for this, why is he not here?

It is that useless boy that calls himself a youth pastor that is responsible for the pregnancy her mother added. Mr Seun, I am sorry for all that happened. As usual, it was the work of the devil.

What a day!!! If I had known that it was Brother Sola the youth president of the church that had the baby, I would never have come. I know that the both of them are very close, but to think that such activity could happen between them was actually unimaginable.

It was only once it happened, and we never knew that it would result into this, he continued as he looked troubled and depressed. I remember his preaching last sunday, it was titled “THE SIN CALLED PREMARITAL SEX.” This is a scandal I said to myself, and even Oliver Pope cannot solve this case so easily, only God can.

Thinking about the scene, I realized that it was best for me to leave the scene so that the matter can be resolved amicably by both of them. But then, I remembered the story of a young pastor who killed himself because he impregnated his girlfriend and he could not take the shame. He was too proud to confess his sins and repent.

It was then it dawned on me that I needed to be around so that the issue can be resolved with wisdom. Luckily for both sides, Folakemi was out of school and Brother Sola was working already. We resolved to get them married, and also announced to the church that they would both be suspended but they would be forgiven. They were taken to a special class for Marriage counseling and the whole church put them in Prayers.

LESSON TO LEARN.
1. In life, there is nobody that cannot fall. Sometimes, the people that we do not expect to fall because of their spirituality and their position in the society fall. If such happens, what do we do? Do we mock them around, share their news to the whole world to make them a laughing stock, or to bring them closer, pray for them and show them the love of God.

The best way to correct a man is to correct him with love. We all are human beings, and it takes the special grace of God to be upright. Always ask for the grace.

2. When you make a serious mistake, ADMIT IT. The best way to solve a problem is not to run away from the problem, but to resolve it. There was a similar story of this case, and the youth pastor resolved to killing himself because he was to proud to admit his sins.

He who is without sin, let him be the first to cast the stone. If you are looking at what others would say, then you are not ready to solve the problem. These kind of mistakes can be avoided, but when they happen it must be handled maturely and with a clean heart.

3. Let’s keep praying for the grace. I have made serious mistakes in my life. Mistakes you would never be proud to hear (see as your eye strong, wetin you wan read). It is not the mistakes you make that matters, but the steps you take after making the mistakes. Each day, I keep improving myself and I keep making firm decisions that I believe would put me on course to be better.

Don’t judge anybody. Don’t rebuke anybody. Anybody can change from Bad to Good. If there Is someone that needs a change in character, keep them in your prayers, move closer to them and let your life be an example they can model.

Thank you for reading it to this Level.
Share with your friends if you gained something from this article.

Seun Emmanuel Alaofin
@seunalaofin

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10 TEN TOP SIGNS THAT SHE WOULD MAKE A GOOD WIFE AND A GOOD MOTHER

By Adedokun Olusola Adenike

Getting married is not an easy task and it goes beyond being head over heels with someone. You just need to get it right. It is life-changing and can be
destructive if it is embarked on with the wrong person. You have to be absolutely sure that the woman in your life is someone you’ll be happy spending time with every day of your life, forever. Here are 10 signs that the woman in your life will make a good wife.

1. She’s Nurturing
A woman who will make a good wife has to be caring and nurturing. She’s going to be majorly responsible for the well-being of you and your children.
She should be kind and compassionate, willing to take care of others without grumbling. Some ladies are not accommodating at all. They don’t want to see your friends or families around and they don’t care.

2. She’s Dependable
A great wife should be someone you can trust and rely on. She should be someone who will support her man no matter what, someone you know you can count on, come rain, come shine. Someone that can represent you anywhere.

3. She’s Respectful
Disrespect is one of the major causes of marital dysfunction. The woman you decide to marry should respect you no matter what. She should respect your
family and your friends, even if she doesn’t like them. She should be a respectful person all round. No matter the age or work difference. She has to respect you. You would see the signs when you are dating.

4. She’s Humble
A proud woman will encourage grudges and nothing destroys relationships faster than malice. The ideal wife should be able to apologize even when she isn’t in the wrong line. She should be submissive. She has to drop her ego no matter the position she holds.

5. She’s emotionally stable
The woman you decide to marry should be stable emotionally and otherwise stable. An emotionally unstable woman can’t handle the pressures of marriage. She should be mature and know how to handle situations without constantly losing her cool. You don’t want to marry a woman who will break down in tears over every little challenge. She should know how to help you when you are down.

6. She loves children
The ideal wife should love children. She should like to have them around her and willing to play with them always. This is a sign that she’ll be capable of
taking care of the family you build
together. Some women can’t stand the sight of a dirty child. They just want househelps to even suck the child.

7. She can cook
She doesn’t have to be a chef but a great wife should be able to feed her family. If she can’t cook because of her family background, she should be willing to learn. If she is not, find your square root o.

8. You have a lot in common
It can be the same kind of music or the same hobbies or even just a love of books. If there are things you both like to do, that’s a good sign you are entering a marriage of happiness and longevity but sometimes the difference you have creates the fun out of it.

9. You have great communication line
There is nothing more important in a relationship than communication, and if you are considering making it official by marrying her, you have to feel
comfortable talking with her about any and everything. The more you
communicate with your woman, the less likely the two of you will get into arguments because you both will be able to talk about your problems instead of holding them in. You need to understand yourselves well and your temperaments too.

10. You can laugh together
Mutual laughter is an essential
component of a strong and healthy marriage. Romance is much better if you can see humour in the little things
and can have a laugh together.

——-Above all, you must remember that there’s no such thing as a perfect person so there can’t be a perfect wife. Love is about accepting that person you’ve chosen even with all their flaws and deciding to love them no matter what.

What other qualities do you consider necessary for an ideal wife? Share your opinions in the comment box.

6 DISADVANTAGES OF EXCESSIVE TALKING

DISADVANTAGE 1: Talking Too Much Inspires Boasting. One of the reasons why people talk too much is to attract others to themselves. In doing this, they talk about all their achievements, their past records, where they have been to, how much they worth and what they possess. They are good at lying so they can be seen bigger than they are by others.

DISADVANTAGE 2: Talking Too Much Brings About Loss Of Respect.  A talkative loses his respect when he talks more than he knows. He talks more than people can accommodate so they begin to disrespect him and he loses his honour. A talkative does not place any value on himself so people around him do not place value on him either.

DISADVANTAGE 3: Talking Too Much Makes You Reveal More. People that talk too much have a weakness of talking more about themselves, their personal life’s, saying what they should not be saying without even noticing that they have said it. The wise runs from such people because they know that their secrets are not safe and secured with these kinds of people.

DISADVANTAGE 4: Talking Too Much Makes You Sin More. People that talk more are engaged and involved in more sins. They talk about others, they boast, lie and even cause quarrel among brethren’s with their gossips and back stabbing.

DISADVANTAGE 5: Talking Too Much Is Someone’s Job. Some categories of people are heavily paid because they can talk well. Their talent is well appreciated and it is converted to money. Why then have you decided to talk excessively when you are not paid a dime for it? You make it even worse because it is at the expense of your progress.

DISADVANTAGE 6: Excessive Talking or talking too much produces devastating health effects and promotes any chronic disease: cancer, heart disease, diabetes, obesity, and many others. You can save yourself from all these chronic diseases if you decide to limit the way you talk. Talk when it is appropriate to, not when you just feel like moving your mouth.

Think of these things. 
— Copyright © 2013 Seun Emmanuel Alaofin.

NO EXCUSES!

Improvement and development are important. Without these, a man stays slackened or slowed up. Improvement and development culminates to growth! Good and defined improvement and development paves way for directional growth.

There shouldn’t be a point or an instance where you say ‘I’m done on self-reformation’. That’s like parcelling and mailing a letter bomb to one’s residential address. A vehicle owner maintains his(er) vehicle unendingly so it can serve him(er) for long.  S(he) does so to also keep the vehicle always in good shape.

When work is constantly done on one’s self, it keeps one prepared ahead! Self-reformation also asides preparing one, helps to sharpen its student. A farm tool or implement after a while becomes blunt and can’t give its best. It calls for another sharpening. Human’s knowledge is on every minute made obsolete! What you know now might not change, but must have been improved upon. There would have been an improved version.

Self-improvement demands you upgrade your functionality apps so as to keep you at par. Self-improvement demands you remain the baddest learner ever liveth! You will find yourself inhaling fresh air of contentment as the progress you will experience will be marvellous.

Identify areas of your life that have been left unattended to and the areas that are not at par and the ones that are. Work on them all to get you bettered and duly moulded.

Self-improvement ushers development!

Don’t starve yourself what’s of essence and what’s needed for good growth! Always want to know! Always want to get better with every opportunity. If you stop working on yourself, you’re doing yourself a great harm. Why hurt yourself when you can impart yourself? Be willing to learn, be open to new knowledge and deliberately seek to be taught things you don’t know and know are essentials.

I recall sojourning from Lagos through Ibadan to Akure for a weekend course whilst on Internship. Some will call me a loco or a wacko for that, but I feel better when I acquire fresh knowledge and apply them. Stay UPDATED or you will get relegated! Stay on a PAR or you will be left behind!

It is never too late to lead off so as to always come out better. Don’t wait to be asked. It might be too late to find-out. No Excuses!

By Agbara Paschal (agbarapaschal.com/about-me/)

THE POWER OF GRACE

Photo courtesy of ©iStockphoto.com/krystiannawrocki

Grace makes tough situations easy
Grace makes your enemies dizzy
Grace makes a way out of no way
Grace is far more than what people say

Grace makes result evident than it seem
Grace makes dark situation beam
Grace makes you get the best from nothing
Grace turns an imbecile to an extraordinary something

Grace brings result beyond your ability
Grace is putting your efforts in Gods capability
Grace is the manifestation of unusual kindness
Grace is receiving soothing happiness

Grace favours a man where he did not sow
Grace makes the man in you grow
Grace brings life to your certificate
Grace brings greatness to your gate

Grace is favour from God
Grace brings more than you can afford
Grace is why jesus is on earth
Grace comes along with sound health

Grace bring unprecedented mercy
Grace turns around a life that is messy
Grace makes you avert unimaginable disgrace
Grace brings your helpers to your face

Grace makes you richly rich
Grace makes the wise know what to teach
Grace makes your word as sweet as honey
Grace is having much more than money

Grace is swimming in Gods wisdom
Grace places you in charge of a kingdom
Grace makes your destiny shine
Grace makes what you do fine

Grace breaks the chain of tears
Grace makes you add years to your years
Grace is what you need to succeed
Grace is what you really need

— Copyright © 2013 Seun Emmanuel Alaofin

4 WAYS TO TURN MISTAKES AROUND TO SUCCESS

Successful people have overtime come to realise that mistakes are almost unavoidable, and the only people that do not make mistakes are people that have not tried anything meaningful. Making mistakes does not mean that you have totally failed or you have little or no idea about what you are doing, it simply means that you need to sit back and reflect on your past actions to correct every correctables and learn all the learnables.

I have taken my time to simplify four simple techniques you can use to turn your mistakes into winning bullets. They have worked for me, and I am sure they would work for you too.

STEP 1: Stop the mistake by on pausing the plan/project/investment. There is actually no joy and wisdom in committing the same mistake over and over again using the same strategies, ideas and techniques. After noticing that the methods you have been using are not working or rather would never work, STOP IT AND MOVE TO STEP 2.

Before you do this, you must admit the fact that you are making a mistake and you must not shift the blame on anyone, on situations and unforeseen circumstances. You must be ready to take responsibility (the 1st step to failure is shifting blames that can be easily corrected by you).

STEP 2: Have a rethink: your plans are definitely great, your plans are destined to succeed, your plans are achievable, but there is something wrong somewhere that is not actually making your plans work out. That is what we are after. Now you have to start asking yourself questions. What actually went wrong? What am I supposed to do that I have not done? What am I doing that I am not supposed to do? Why am I making this mistake over and over again? Are my techniques outdated or do not fit? Am I putting the required effort needed? Do I have adequate knowledge needed? Ask yourself this and many more questions as they come into your head. Note, don’t neglect any question.

STEP 3: Go back and learn more. Now you have gone back to the drawing board, write down the solution to all the questions you asked yourself in step two. Ensure that you seek for the right answers to these questions by gaining more knowledge. You need to go back to the books you read, the people that advised you, the observations you made, the plans you evaluated, there is something that is still missing that you have not done, there is a particular step that you have not taken.

Now at this stage, you have to be cool, calm and collected, there is no need to rush so that you would not make the same mistake again. You need to look deep for loopholes and road bumps so they can be mended. When you are sure that you have gathered enough knowledge and information, move on to step four.

STEP 4: APPLY THE NEW KNOWLEDGE. This is the last and final stage. At this stage, you need to be very careful and vigilant. Your aim is to get a better and more improved result than what you have been getting previously. Implement the new knowledge into the plan and make sure you put all the effort required to ensure that you get a more improved result.

NOTE: You might not get the best result now, but I am sure that at this stage you would get an improved result that would definitely lead you to the best result you can ever expect.

Remember, your mistakes are not meant to discourage you but rather to teach you new steps that should be used to achieve the best. Keep winning.

Cheers to your next big success step in life!!!
— Copyright © 2013 Seun Emmanuel Alaofin

HOW TO SET EFFECTIVE GOALS IN 2014

Wow, 2013 has come and gone. Before I pass my message for this month, let me use this opportunity to wish you a wonderful, gracious and prosperous new year.

I am sure you achieved some of the goals you set for 2013 (for those that set goals) and I am also sure you could not achieve some which you must have planned to continue this year. For those that set goals and achieved a majority of them I say Congratulations and to those that did not set goals at all, I say this is a new year with a new opportunity to achieve major things this year that would propel you to the next level in life.

Let me throw this question straight at you, HAVE YOU SET YOUR GOALS FOR 2014? If yes, join me as we review your goals together and if no, join me as we set your goals together. Either which way, you are very much invited as we move on. As usual don’t forget to bring out your biro and paper as we review the following questions together.

1. How successful do you want to be in 2014? Successful, very successful or averagely successful? What would you achieve in 2014 that would make it a successful year?

2. What do you want to attain in 2014? Remember, it must be realistic and it could be more than one. Could be a 1st class this semester (for students), could be a new business initiative or something you have been longing for.

3. What frustrated you the most in 2013 that you want to change? This is something you want to change and you are ready to give it all it takes to change it.

4. What made you happy and fulfilled the most in 2013 that you want to improve on?

5. What are the things you want to do consistently in 2014? You may want to read your bible daily, you may want to read daily, want to gain more knowledge daily, want to do exercise daily.

6. What would you do that would make you a better person in 2014? Read inspirational books this year, read more books relating to your course that would give you added advantage, attend seminars, go for empowerment trainings, and attend relationship symposiums.

7. What new thing (project, business, idea) do you want to start in 2014? Something you have not started before.

8. What relationship do you want to build in 2014 and what relationship do you want to destroy in 2014. What kind of connection do you want to build with people this year, and what relationship do you feel has affected you negatively last year that you need to break.

9. How much do you want to worth financially at the end of 2014 and what would you be doing to reach your estimated worth? Remember it must be realistic, factual and genuine.

10. How do you want to be of impact to your community in 2014, how do you want to make the people around you better in 2014? Remember, success is not complete without impacting those around you, and your immediate community.

11. How close do you want to be with God? I would advise you to be very close with God this year to claim all the blessing of this year, but it’s up to you. Be wise.

Put these questions down and answer them. Also remember to list all the benefits that would come your way if you can achieve all your goals for 2014. Rewrite the answer and the goals in three places. Put one in your diary, the second should be pasted on the wall of your room and the third should be written in your brain. I would also advice that you rewrite the benefit you would receive from achieving your goals and stuck it inside your purse. Each time you open your purse to take money from it, you would always remember that you still have a lot to achieve in year 2014.

CHEERS TO YOUR NEXT BIG SUCCESS STEP IN LIFE……

— Copyright © 2013 Seun Emmanuel Alaofin

(LAST SERIES) 15 CRITICAL LESSONS I LEARNT IN 2013

LESSON 15 OF 2013: Listen to your intuition. December last year, I was searching for someone that could help in the printing jobs of SEA Publication which would improve the quality of the publication and ease up some of the work load on my neck.

There was a certain guy on my Blackberry Messenger that I have not had a chat with since the day he added me. Something within me asked me to ask him if he knew anyone that could assist in the printing job, and to me surprise he linked me up with a man that could help. Today, this man he introduced to me has not just been a business associate, he has been a very close and useful friend.
Then I said to myself, if I had not followed my intuition that day, I would probably have not met such a wonderful man.

There are so many times I have decided to drop ideas from people, drop evidences and trust my own clear intuition, and on these occasions I have not been disappointed.

Always learn to listen to your mind, your inner self, your real you and especially when there would be no harm in trying it out. There is a special space for you at the top, don’t leave the space vacant.

Welcome to 2014!!!!
— Copyright © 2013 Seun Emmanuel Alaofin

(SERIES 6) 15 CRITICAL LESSONS I LEARNT IN 2013

LESSON 13 OF 2013: This year I rooted deep into the secrets of successful people and during the process, I discovered a major reason why so many people are not successful.

A major reason why so many people fail is as a result of them not knowing what they exactly want in each area of their life’s. They have not actually taken their time to decide what they want, how what they want looks like, when they need to get what they want and how they would get what they want. They simply do not set goals for their life. They are simply purpose less

They are set of people that just wait for events to occur on their own, they believe in whatever would be will be not what they decided to be would be. They go about betting, playing lottery, living a careless, carefree and reckless life. This same set of people envy the successful ones, saying in their mind that they are more lucky than they are.

Note: Luck happen to those who have a specific and realistic plan for their life’s.

LESSON 14 OF 2013: People who think and talk more about what they want in a miraculous way seem to attract more and more of these very things into their life’s.

Likewise, people who spend the majority of their time discussing about what they don’t want, their fears, worries, negative situations and circumstances, seem to also miraculously attract these things into their life’s

Note: To be at the top, you must discipline yourself to think and talk about the things you want to happen in your life and you must try to avoid things that would make you think and talk about what you do not want.

Example: If you desire a new job, always try to think and talk about the things that would move you closer to getting a new job, things that would make you stay positive and alert for opportunities. Don’t discuss things like there are no jobs out there and I don’t think I would be able to get a good job. Drop thoughts like my certificate cannot get me a good job and at these point I don’t think I can get a job that would be befitting.

Remember: As a man thinketh in his heart, so he is. Your thoughts make you. Choose wisely!!!

— Copyright © 2013 Seun Emmanuel Alaofin

(SERIES 5) 15 CRITICAL LESSONS I LEARNT IN 2013

LESSON 10 OF 2013: Every business man or woman would understand that when you are about to start a new business, there are three things you need to have in place to put the business together. 1) The right people. 2) The right opportunities. 3) The money.

There are many people that wait for these 3 conditions to manifest before they start something up even when they have fantastic IDEAS (many ideas have died waiting). I remember vividly that when I was about to start SEA Publication, there was no perfect opportunity, the money was not available in surplus and the right people were not forthcoming so I decided to use the available resources within my environment to complement my fantastic idea. Today, people have started volunteering to work with the publication and opportunities have started coming. If I had waited then, the IDEA would have died in my mind.

Like I would always tell myself, the only thing that can limit me is I MYSELF. The way I see things determine how they affect me. If all I see is impossibility, everything I do would be impossible to achieve. If all I see around me are problems, I would never be able to see meaningful opportunities.

So rather than waste my time looking at situations from a point of view that would not move me to the next level as a person, I would rather restrategise and change the perspective from which I see things. Remember the LESSON, all you need is an idea (plus the utilisation of the available resources within your disposal) to start something reasonable.

LESSON 11 OF 2013: You cannot be better than the people you spend most of your time with (you are the average of the 5 best people you spend most of your time with). I realised that one of the major reasons why I lived an unpleasant and unproductive life before was because of the friends I walked, ate and talked with.

Around March, I decided to change friends. I dropped majority of the almost useless friends and I opted for people that could rub their positive attitudes and lifestyle on me. People I could share ideas and experience with, people that could give loaded advise that would move my life to the next level. Today I am more productive, more responsible, more efficient and more reliable because I changed the people that surrounded me.

If you realise that your life is not moving the way its supposed to, then it is time to check the kind of friends you keep. What impact are they actually making in your life? If their impact is making your life move backwards then you must realise that you need to cut of the friendship before it cuts you off your purpose. Act fast just like I did and you would be happy with the outcome.

Note: Don’t drop people that are of no impact to you and go ahead to pick up new friends of the same calibre with the old ones. Remember, you desire a change and it must start now. Be wise!!!

LESSON 12 OF 2013: Year 2013, I learnt about the “law of correspondence” from a book written by Brian Tracy, titled Creating Your Future. The law says that your outer world tends to be a picture image of your inner word. What is going on outside of you is a reflection or manifestation of what is going on inside of you.

That law made me realize the words of one of my mentors, Titilayo Femi Kings. He would always talk about IMAGINATION . He would say you have the ability to be in Germany even when you are in Nigeria if you can picture it in your mind (see the picture in your mind).
Successful people are very conversant with this success tip.

Always remember, until you picture it in your mind, it would never become a reality. If you desire to have a car next year, picture yourself in your mind in this particular car of your choice and envision yourself driving the car. You would realise that the more you picture this car, the more you work towards fulfilling the dream of owning this car.

The mind is very powerful and it works well for those that utilize it well.

— Copyright © 2013 Seun Emmanuel Alaofin