1. Does he/she make me laugh?

2. Does he/she make me feel comfortable, can I say anything to him/her?

3. Does he/she respect my body, mind and views?

4. Take away his/her most beautiful attribute, would I still stay?

5. Can we face the storm together?

If your answers to these questions is yes then you are on the right track, if it’s a no, then you need to re-evaluate your relationship. The one problem we have is that we rush in and out of relationships, just because it doesn’t look rosy today does not mean it won’t get better. The fact that he isn’t driving a range rover sport or taking you on trips to the Bahamas does not mean he won’t give you all the love you deserve, the fact that she is not model thin with a body to die for does not mean she is not the perfect girlfriend.

We need to look beyond the physical and begin to appreciate what people have inside, beauty without brains or skills is like having a plastic Barbie doll as a girlfriend, and a handsome rich guy who doesn’t know how to treat a lady is a big waste of time.

Another problem we face is the lack of the God factor. It’s simple, God is love and love is God, without him you cannot have a successful relationship, he is the creator of everything and he alone can show you how to love your partners. He alone can make it work. After acquiring the God factor, you must make sure that your partner is your friend; friendship is a key ingredient in any relationship. If he/she does not know you, cannot tell how you are feeling, make you happy when your down and successfully change your mood, all this without any form of intimacy, then he cannot or does not deserve your heart. If you can take away the intimacy in a relationship and still love your partner then you both can stand the test of time, such a relationship will last forever. Such a relationship will be fun because you both will be free to talk about anything, express yourself properly with no barriers and most of all tell each other the truth.

The next thing you need for a successful relationship is trust. Trust is the foundation of a relationship, building your relationship on trust ensures that that relationship last long. If you don’t trust your partner you would be like a leaf that goes anywhere the wind blows, you will believe everything and anything you hear, doubts will take over your mind and you will eventually become paranoid.

Note that trust isn’t something that you get just like that, it grows, it like a seed that is planted in the heart of your partner and your day to day actions waters this seed, causing it to grow until it becomes a tree that blooms. Also, like any tree it can be uprooted when you betray the trust of your partner. Without trust, your relationship is nothing. Trust your partner no matter what, and let love take its course. Even though you have been betrayed once, do not close your heart to trust because if you do, you cannot truly love anyone.

With these three things, your relationship will be the best ever; God, friendship and trust are the spices for a long lasting, enduring relationship.

Notice I said nothing about intimacy or sex? This is because; sex is and will never be a criterion for a good relationship. Contrary to popular belief you can have a wonderful relationship without sex. It just happens to be a perk but not a pre-requisite. So ladies never ever let any man tell you that offering your body will make the relationship work, if it wasn’t working before you had sex, it won’t work after.

Don’t be deceived and guys I ask the question, beyond sex what else. I’m guessing you have no answer for that question, which is because you don’t think beyond sex. Granted, sex could be fun but it should not be the main reason for going into a relationship. If you pursue sex, once you get it, you will lose interest.

Seek God, find your friend, trust your friend, don’t fall in love, grow in love because if you fall, one day you will get up and realize you are no longer in love but if you grow, you will never stop loving the person. With these, the sky is just the starting point in your relationship.

Good luck!!!!!!



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