DEFINE YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Any deep and intimate relationship between a man and a woman should always begin with friendship. Often people do not know when to move from friendship to a more committed level; the courtship level. This is a potential source of heartache, since people can feel uncelebrated and unloved.

Why- It is usually good to define your friendships in order to put things in proper perspective. Defining the relationship will help you to focus better and to be more committed on is rather than the assumptions of feeling and thoughts. However I suggest that any friendship between the two opposite sex that has lasted for a period of three months should be defined and a periodic redefinition should be carried out.

Ask Questions- Whether you are a man or a woman, you should be free to ask questions when your feelings is beyond friendship. Some ladies shy away from it especially in our African environment and society where women are easily judged.

There is nothing wrong with asking a person of the opposite sex what his/her intentions are once you been friends for quite some time. It doesn’t mean that you are proposing or rushing that person. It just helps the relationship to develop to a deeper level courtship or saves you the time if nothing is going to become of the relationship.

‘’Courtship is not the same as marriage, but it does imply exclusive commitment to one another, and gives you the opportunity to ask question about the other person which may have been inappropriate when you were still just friends.

Don’t pretend- There many of us today who pretend a lot, although this is very common among the ladies, however some traces of such could also be found in men likewise. As the saying goes ‘’Love comes knocking at your door and before you know it, if not attended to….it gone’’.

Conclusion- Always ensure that at all levels of relationship you have with people the below;
‘’Never be afraid of letting them know how much they mean to you, people always love to know that they are appreciated and loved even when it’s a lie’’.

by: Adewumi Adeshina John (follow on twitter; @ajadewumi)

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