A young lady was dating a guy,and they loved themselves so much,but as the relationship began to grow,the guy started misbehaving and he found pleasure in taking the girl for granted. After sometime,the young lady could not withstand it,so she decided to end the relationship.
About three months later,she got another guy who loved,appreciated and cherished her for who she was. He liked her character,and tolerated her differences. They later married and gave birth to children’s. This man became the mayor of the state and he was successful in all his endeavors.
On a particular day,the mayor and his wife(the lady) were traveling on a journey and they decided to buy fuel. On getting to the fuel station, to their greatest surprise the fuel attendant was the ladies former boyfriend. The wife got down and spoke extensively with the man.
The mayor having heard about her former boyfriend was proud of himself,and he told the wife when she was done speaking with the man that “thank God you married me”. The wife thought for some minute,shook her head and told her husband the following words
“Thank God you married me because if it was the former boyfriend i married, he would be the mayor and you(her husband) would have been the fuel attendant”.
This woman knew her worth,and she understood the fact that anybody that has her in his or her life is lucky because of the good characters and attributes that she possesses. She was quick to understand that the way you place yourself is the value that others would place on you. In order words,the way you treat yourself is the currency that others would use in pricing you.
Have you just written an interview,and you were not picked and now you feel like this is the end for you? Have you just asked a lady you love so much OUT and she gave you a capital NO because she does not believe you have anything reasonable to offer to yourself not to talk of offering to her,and now you feel like a piece of rag? Have you just embarked on a new project and you have failed out rightly?
Have you just being insulted and embarrassed by someone,and you said its because you have no worth,that’s why such thing happened to you? Have any circumstance happened to you,that has pulled your moral and self esteem down?
My brother brighten up,my sister start smiling because that company that did not employ you has just lost the best worker they could ever have,and that girl or guy has just lost the person that could bring joy,happiness and a complete positive change to his or her life.
Anybody,group of people,company or companies that fail to accept you has just lost the best person they wish they have always had.
In knowing your worth,the kind of mind set and thinking you possess plays a long way in determining what you would become and the kind of people that would be in your life.
You must always accept the fact that you are a king and you are a queen,and kings and queens don’t go below their worth and they don’t beg people to be in their lives.
NOTE: When you place yourself above your worth, you tend to become proud. Always develop yourself every day, get better everyday and be the best you can be at everything you do. In doing this, YOUR WORTH WOULD BE HIGHER THAN YOUR EXPECTATION.
Remember, IF YOU STAND FOR NOTHING, YOU WOULD FALL FOR EVERYTHING.
— Copyright © 2013 Seun Emmanuel Alaofin
LESSON 1: A wise man understands that true words stand the test of time but lies are soon exposed. A wise man understands that humility precedes honor and he makes good use of everything he findeth to impact him and those surrounding him.
LESSON 2: Note, there is more hope for a fool than for one who thinks he is wise. A lazy man considers himself smarter than seven wise men, making him worse than a fool. He doesn’t know and he doesn’t know that he needs to know so he believes that he knows all he needs to know. A wise man is always willing to learn.
LESSON 3: A wise man understands that the decisions he takes sometimes might not affect only him, but those close and around him. Those that planned that Daniel in the bibe should be consumed by hungry lions were eventually eaten along with their family members and friends by the same lions they designated to consume Daniel. What decisions are you taking, are they wise?
LESSON 4: A fool has a talent in flattering people, he sets a trap for others and he is always caught in the trap? He rolls a stone down on others and he crushes his own head instead. A fool has no work to do so he is always involve himself in bringing other people down and most times he ends up bringing himself down the more.
LESSON 5: A wise man cautions the way he eats. He does not eat more than his stomach can fill, and he also watches the way he eats outside. He does not eat with people who are stingy, and he does not desire their delicacies. They are always thinking about how much their food cost them, but they would tell you to eat and drink when they don’t even mean a single word they have said.
LESSON 6: A wise man is anointed for greatness by God and his character keeps the anointing working. Joseph in the bible was anointed for greatness, and his character sustained him. King Saul in the bible was anointed for greatness but his character could not sustain this greatness. King David in the bible was anointed for greatness, and his character sustained him. Samson in the bible was anointed for greatness but his character could not sustain this greatness.
LESSON 7: A wise man does not judge, criticize and condemn others so he would not be judged, criticized and condemned himself. For in the way you judge, you would be judged, and by the way you measure the standard of others, others shall measure you.
LESSON 8: A wise man would not stand as a guarantor for a stranger that he knows nothing or a few things about. This is because when the stranger messes up; they would take all his personal belongings and make him stranded for an offence he committed out of human will and sympathy.
— Copyright © 2013 Seun Emmanuel Alaofin
REASON 1: Being positive steers up the courage in you. A negative man has little or no courage in him. He thinks of nothing new because he does not believe that he has the courage to do something new.
REASON 2: Positivity improves self-esteem. It makes you place a reasonable worth on yourself. Negativity reduces your self-worth and self-esteem.
REASON 3: Being positive makes you stay focused, determined and gives you the innate ability to concentrate.
REASON 4: Being positive builds up the faith you have in yourself. It keeps you going and makes you want to get better.
REASON 5: Being positive helps to remove every form of fear. It helps to bring in an internal energy that keeps you strong.
REASON 6: Being positive gives you the space and freedom to work on your weakness and at the same time improve your strength.
REASON 7: Positivity influences the attitude you display towards those around you. It makes you happy, gives you a smiling face and makes you lovable.
REASON 8: Staying positive helps you fight of negativity. It makes your life planned and helps you leave your life well.
REASON 9: Being positive is a basic attitude needed to overcome problems, tribulations, trials and temptations.
REASON 10: Being positive is also required in your chosen career. It fights of failure and embraces success.
REMEMBER, BEING POSITIVE IS SOMETHING YOU MUST BUILD CONSCIOUSLY. YOU NEED TO HAVE THE RIGHT MIND-SET, BE IN THE RIGHT ENVIRONMENT AND WORK WITH THE RIGHT SET OF PEOPLE.
BEING POSITIVE IS A CHOICE. CHOOSE WISELY.
— Copyright © 2013 Adenike Temitope Owolabi.
LESSON 1: A wise man understands that jealousy is more dangerous than anger and dishonesty. A wise man knows that an open rebuke is better than a secret love, that others praising him genuinely is better than him praising himself arrogantly. He acknowledges that the wound from a sincere friend is better than many kisses from an enemy. A wise man is sincere and his heart is open.
LESSON 2: A wise man gives his enemy food to eat when he is hungry, and he gives him water to drink when he is thirsty. In doing this he puts coal of shame on his head. A wise man makes his enemy weak and defenseless by helping him when he is in trouble. He does not think of revenge because his thoughts are directed towards greater things.
LESSON 3: A wise man does not have confidence in an unreliable person in times of trouble because it is like chewing on a broken tooth or walking on a lame foot. A person that has proven to be unreliable in simple circumstances would never be reliable in turbulent situations. Watch out, and be wise.
LESSON 4: A wise man does not visit his neighbor too much or it would wear out a welcome and his visit would not become valuable. Familiarity breeds contempt. Too much familiarity without meaningful purpose makes one unserious and it’s better done once in a while than often to retain respect and honor.
LESSON 5: A wise man never betrays another person secret when arguing with his neighbor? A wise man is unlike a fool that spits out all the secrets that his friend told him in confidential as a result of anger. He is calm when angry and he prefers to walk out than to speak out.
LESSON 6: A wise man is just like an ant; provideth her meat in the summer, and gathereth her food in the harvest. A wise man plans when he is young and agile so that when he is old and weary he wouldn’t go around begging for what to eat.
LESSON 7: A wise man does not withhold good from those who deserve it when he has the power to help them. He would not say come back tomorrow when he has it today. A wise man helps the poor so that he can receive more from his maker (GOD).
LESSON 8: A wise man is a righteous man. The way of the righteous man is like the first gleam of dawn, which shines ever brighter until the full light of the day, while the way of the fool is like total darkness because they have no idea of where they are going to. Which are you?
— Copyright © 2013 Seun Emmanuel Alaofin.
Any deep and intimate relationship between a man and a woman should always begin with friendship. Often people do not know when to move from friendship to a more committed level; the courtship level. This is a potential source of heartache, since people can feel uncelebrated and unloved.
Why- It is usually good to define your friendships in order to put things in proper perspective. Defining the relationship will help you to focus better and to be more committed on is rather than the assumptions of feeling and thoughts. However I suggest that any friendship between the two opposite sex that has lasted for a period of three months should be defined and a periodic redefinition should be carried out.
Ask Questions- Whether you are a man or a woman, you should be free to ask questions when your feelings is beyond friendship. Some ladies shy away from it especially in our African environment and society where women are easily judged.
There is nothing wrong with asking a person of the opposite sex what his/her intentions are once you been friends for quite some time. It doesn’t mean that you are proposing or rushing that person. It just helps the relationship to develop to a deeper level courtship or saves you the time if nothing is going to become of the relationship.
‘’Courtship is not the same as marriage, but it does imply exclusive commitment to one another, and gives you the opportunity to ask question about the other person which may have been inappropriate when you were still just friends.
Don’t pretend- There many of us today who pretend a lot, although this is very common among the ladies, however some traces of such could also be found in men likewise. As the saying goes ‘’Love comes knocking at your door and before you know it, if not attended to….it gone’’.
Conclusion- Always ensure that at all levels of relationship you have with people the below;
‘’Never be afraid of letting them know how much they mean to you, people always love to know that they are appreciated and loved even when it’s a lie’’.
by: Adewumi Adeshina John (follow on twitter; @ajadewumi)
A great man once said that a goal is just a dream until it is inked (written down). In saying this, he meant that the major difference between a dream and a goal is in writing it down. When God almighty was about to give Moses the ten commandment, he told him to write it down so that the children of Israel could always read it and go back to reread it. What if Moses had not written the Ten Commandments, would we have seen it today? That is a capital NO. Goals kept in your mind are just dreams that might never be fulfilled.
Let’s take a case study of a woman that wants to go to the market to get provision for her family because there would be a three day holiday and the whole family would be home. She goes to the market with a mental picture of what she wants to buy in her brain; it’s evident that no matter how brilliant she is, she would forget either an item or provision. It’s not that she is not determined, focused, or what she wanted to buy was not realistic or achievable. It’s just the simple fact that after planning, she refused to write down her plans. Taking her biro and writing down her goals in a short piece of paper could have been a magic to getting all she wanted to get. This is how Goal setting works.
HOW TO WRITE DOWN YOUR GOALS
- Think, think and think.
- What do u really wants to achieve, what you have been dreaming of achieving.
- Carry a pen and a book, diary or a neat piece of paper. It could also be your laptop and write down or type down all your thoughts.
- Remember that in the last edition, we discussed that there are nine key areas where goal setting is applicable.
- It is always preferable that you write your goals down so that they could always be within your reach. You could also print out the typed goals.
- After writing these goals, Think again. Why do you really want to achieve these goals, and then add more details to each goal?
- Ask yourself this questions
- Is the goal realistic, reliable and reasonable?
- Is the goal achievable, ambitious, accountable, appreciable and attainable?
- Is the goal specific, significant and simple?
- Is the goal measurable, meaningful and manageable?
- Is the goal time bound, tangible, time-framed and time tabled?
- Is the goal explicit, explainable, exciting and engage-able?
- Deliberate if the goal would be a long term goal or a short term goal. There should be a date of expiry for the goals. This answers when the goal would be achieved.
- A goal must not contradict another goal. For example a student that wants to have 1st class and he has decided to give 60% of his time on business would find it hard to achieve that aim of having a 1st class because putting about 30% of your time on your studies cannot give you a 1st class.
- How do you want to achieve these goals? Be creative and put your thinking imagination to work again.
- What methods and techniques would you use to achieve these goals?
- Do I know this methods and techniques, or do I still need to learn them?
- What skills do you require to achieve such goals?
- Do I have these skills?
- If yes, how do I intend to use these skills to achieve my goals? If no, how do I intend to learn these skills?
- What level of determination and action would you need to put in to achieve such goals?
- What plans do you have on ground?
- How many percent of your time would these goals take from you?
Write down all the answers to these questions under the goals which would bring you to another step of action and this would also bring out new goals
- Rewrite everything again, fixing in the answers to this question.
- Then separate the long term goals from the short term goals.
- The goals that would take a long time should be broken down into simpler bits and the short term goals should be separated and written down somewhere else.
- Give yourself deadlines for both the short term and long term goals.
- Paste these goals in a corner of your room, office or car. Ensure it is somewhere you can see it every day.
THIS ARTICLE WAS MADE AVAILABLE FROM SEA PUBLICATION FOR THE MONTH OF AUGUST.
written by Seun Emmanuel Alaofin (SEA).
If we were to ask a typical student, “What would you do differently in order to perform better than before?” the most probable response will be, “I will try to work harder and put in more effort than I did before.” I know this because that’s often the response I get; but when I further ask whether they didn’t work hard or put in a lot of effort previously, the frequent response is: “I actually did! I put in my best effort, but I don’t understand why I didn’t get the results I expected.”
Think about that. Is it a familiar experience with you? I’ve found that almost any student can relate well with this scenario which is one of the root causes of a lack of motivation and of feelings of despondency among many students; or in the worst case, of an outright dismissal of the need to strive for better academic performance. How else would they have felt? No one actually enjoys going through such experiences. However, this seems to suggest that academic success is not solely based on working hard and putting in more and more effort. Of course that will come in handy, but there’re many other factors! It’s a whole system which comprises of several units; some tangible and some intangible, some internal and some external, some are clearly written and some are at best implied, some can be controlled while some just have to be complied with. To get the best from the whole academic system therefore, each student will have to master all the units; and today, we’ll start by examining the most basic of them all.
It is intangible, but controls the tangible; it is internal yet will produce the external. It will be utterly futile to attempt to get the external results without first having this internal quality. School will be terribly boring without it; even going to class will be like walking from one state to another. This blog will be meaningless to anyone who doesn’t have it. It is that one quality without which no one can ever achieve any success. It is the most fundamental factor of them all: a strong and persistent desire to succeed academically.
Being a student is tough. Daring to be an outstanding one is even tougher. It requires some sacrifices, higher levels of concentration, better thinking, studying and personal habits, and commitment to put the great principles we’d be learning here to practice. A keen desire to succeed is therefore a necessity; it will help you make the right choices for your own education. A few years ago, some psychologists carried out an experiment to find out what were people’s biggest regrets in life; the results clearly showed that it was their education. Some said, “I wish I’d gotten more education”, while others said, “I regret not having applied myself more in school. I didn’t take school seriously enough, spending my time with friends who also didn’t study much”
You can tell if you really have a strong desire to succeed academically by examining how much of your free time you spend learning, and how much of your financial resources you invest in your education through relevant materials. Desire flows from interest; and interest comes when you pay attention to a thing for some time.
Once you have a strong desire to succeed academically, you will have to sustain that drive and keep it alive. Poor results, failures and disappointments are some of the strongest quenchers of desire; but they should never be seen or taken as the end of everything. Failure is only an opportunity to begin again more intelligently; and therefore always brings with it the seed for an equivalent success. What matters is what you make of it.
Jessie Belle Rittenhouse, an American poet who lived in the early 20th century captured this principle so well that I would have the pleasure of quoting her here:
“I bargained with Life for a penny, and Life will pay no more,
“However I begged at evening when I counted my scanty store.
“For Life is a just employer, He gives you what you ask,
“But once you have set the wages, why, you must bear the task.
“I worked for a menial’s hire, only to learn, dismayed,
“That any wage I had asked of Life, Life would have willingly paid”
Life – or school – would have willingly paid; but do you have the desire to demand academic excellence? How strong is that desire?
WATCH OUT FOR THE NEXT EDITION. This is a continuous series on ATTAINING ACADEMIC EXCELLENCE.
THIS ARTICLE WAS MADE AVAILABLE FROM SEA PUBLICATION FOR THE MONTH OF AUGUST.
GODWIN BENSON (transtudentworld.wordpress.com)