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DEVELOPING CONFIDENCE with Olalekan OBISESAN
Have you ever noticed how some people captivate everyone they speak to? No matter what they look like or how much money they have, they can just walk into a room and instantly be the center of attention. When they leave, people think highly of them and want to emulate them. That’s charisma, a sort of magnetism that inspires confidence and adoration.
Like beauty, luck, and social position, charisma can open many doors in life. Unlike these other qualities, anyone can become more charismatic.
The following tips help you to your charisma
1. RELAX: Charisma is all about channeling your energy to other people. If you channel stress and anxiety, people will be repelled. If you channel relaxation and tranquility, people will be attracted to your calmness, and they’ll want to be more like you. Remember, many people may be just as nervous as you are, so take a breather and relax. Confidence will come whenever you relax.
2. BE CONFIDENT: Charisma isn’t the same thing as confidence, but appearing confident can make you more charismatic because your confidence will put others at ease and inspire faith in your abilities. Ensure you use adequate eye contact to appear confident.
3. IMPROVE YOUR POSTURE: Nothing conveys confidence like good posture, stand or sit up straight, but not rigidly. When you meet someone, give a firm handshake and look straight into the person’s eye. Display positive body language while you’re talking to someone and even when you’re just waiting around. Sit facing the person or people you’re talking to, uncross your legs and arms, and keep your hands away from your face. Look at ease, and don’t fidget or convey nervousness.
4. BE ANYONE’S EQUAL: No matter who you are talking to, treat them as an equal. If you’re talking to a potential employer, groups of wealthy donors, a child, a stranger, or an attractive guy or girl, for example, don’t put them on a pedestal or talk down to them. Be respectful of other people, of course, but respect them as equals, and expect that they will accept you as such.
5. DEVELOP A WARM PERSONALITY: If you are stuck up, no one will feel that they have to listen to you. Enjoy the company of other people. Appreciate them for their differences and welcome them into your life.
6. GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUR EMOTIONS: Research has shown that people who are generally believed to be charismatic feel emotions strongly, and they are also able to relate to what others are feeling. Ironically, in many societies, the suppression of emotion is considered desirable.
Don’t be afraid to feel anger, pain, sadness, or elation, and don’t be afraid to communicate your emotions. Also be aware that there is a difference between suppressing your emotions and controlling how you express your emotions. It is this control which is truly desirable. Always be genuine – fake emotion rarely appeals to anyone.